Southern Language

Now folks, yall all know that people round this country speak funny. The fact of the matter is, we here down south are the only ones that speak properly. For instance, when describing a liar, folks from around the country would say, "That man is a liar!". Now that ain't very thoughtful is it? Down south, we says, "He would rather tell a lie on credit than the truth for cash."

See how we say things so that they don't hurt the innocents feelings.

Now I am fixing to show you the ways that we talk down here to educate the American society. Yall need to learn this and know it fore yall fly in here on Delta Airlines.

Here's just a few southern expressions that you need to know fore you get here else it can cause you some serious problems.

• Broad as a barn - Now this is what we call the obese.
• Flat as a pancake - Referring to the cat or dog after the logtruck runs over it.
• Blind as a bat - Speaks for itself.
• Mad as a wet hornet - This is really the worse kind of being mad.
• Bright as a new penny - This is what we says about the smart folks.
• Mad as fire - This is 1 step beyond the worse kind of madness.
• Dead as a doornail - This is absolutely the point of no return.
• Wild as a buck - This is just plain wildness.
• Mean as a snake - Some people have snakes for pets, but we all know that those snakes just as soon bite you as they had to look at you.
• Fat as a tub of lard - Don't know what lard is? Ha!
• Black as the ace of spades - This is what to expect with the lights off on at midnight.
• Shallow as a moron's mind - Doesn't get know shallower than that.
• Crazy as a lune - Lunatic
• Stiff as a board - Many meanings, most commonly used when your legs are stiff from sitting or when you find the cat dead. That dead cat was as stiff as a board before I buried it.
• Cold as mother-in-laws heart - That's cold folks.
• Happy as a hog in slop - Speaks for itself
• Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine - Again, speaks for itself.
• Sweet as honey
• Full as a tick on a bloodhound - Overeating

Now here's some more good southern expressions that you got to know.

• Juice a cow - Milk it.
• Give somebody a piece of your mind - tell them off
• Jump over the broomstick - Get Married
• Split the blanket - Get a divorce
• Fly off the handle - Get mad quickly
• Fit to be tied - Being pretty mad
• Dressed fit to kill - Dressed nice
• Pull a shennanigan - Pull a stunt
• Laid out on the cooling board - Dead

A few words that have several meanings.

• Ax- 1. Question. 2. Wood splitting tool. example- If you ax me that again, I'll split your head wide open with this here ax.
• Aster- 1. Question. 2. Pretty flowers. example- What I aster was,"Ain't them aster's real?"
• Far - 1. Distance. 2. Chemical reaction what burns. example - Bobby sure did run a far piece when pants caught on far.

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